LEADING WITH EMPATHY TOWARD CELEBRITIES

It’s got to be painfully frustratingly hard when someone else tells the world what your motives are and paints a picture of your persona, having never met ya. Everyone deserves to be heard from their own lips to say who they really are. Quite often when you see anyone famous with exposed skin that’s trim and toned, there’s an assumption that of course, they are “showing off.” And sadly people read those headlines and think all those paparazzi photographers and writers must be psychic and know exactly what you think. Could be you were just jogging, got physically hot from the sun and took your shirt off, didn’t even know you got your picture taken, and never said, “Look at how hot I am!”

I’m sure there are those who may feel annoyed and hurt and would like to be acknowledged for the fact that they were able to maintain healthy lifestyles on their own before acquiring fame. Maybe you’d like to be considered that even if you do now have many helpful advantages you still have to be the one to do the exercise and control your cravings. And that you, unlike most of us, have every ounce of flesh gained or lost, every strand of hair out of place, and every article of clothing on your body dissected and judged publicly? You have pictures taken without consent and then published without asking permission, which would not leave many feeling cared about or respected. Deeply considering all this, I can definitely resonate with why you would want to avoid all that as much as possible and use your resources to contribute to a look/body/image that is less likely to be harshly judged and one that’s considered socially desirable. Hopefully, it’s also an authentic and unbiased expression of your own personal style too that does not hinder your quality of life. I think what you go through is ridiculous, and unnecessary and I hope I live to see the day when we collectively decide it is not in anyone’s highest interest to judge our entertainers and pry into their lives.

I apologize for making generalizations and assumptions, I want to live out consideration yet at times it gets drowned out by my rage and deep, deep concern for my brothers and sisters I share reality and experiences with, for how much I see them struggling to feel good and be healthy and also content with what they have and happy. To then compare themselves to those with all the support of the rich and famous, which I elaborate on in Poison Purge, can be torturous and decrease levels of self-love across the entire planet.

I sincerely honor and value the dedication, willpower, and strength it takes to commit yourself to high levels of self-care. My hope is that you can be seen as an inspiration for others and provide reassurance to them that it is possible to have a firm and fit body after age 40, 50, 60, and beyond, even in this day and age! At the same time, I feel scared for many of you and your safety as you strive for perfection and lasting youth. I hope for everyone to accept and love themselves, unfortunately, this trend to go to great lengths to change a natural process or use digital enhancement to alter and erase what is real, discourages that from happening. And I personally believe that all change is firstborn from acceptance. I think for this world and all its people to really change, we need to embrace what is real, then we can truly heal!

Because of your notoriety, your choices influence potentially millions of people and it is a great responsibility that I hope and pray you’ll choose to hold carefully. I send you wishes of safety and enjoyment for your increased vitality, mobility, and strength. I have a request for sensitivity for those of us who are struggling with our health and self-worth due to injury, disease, addictions, insecurities, a broken healthcare system, low-grade quality food, and understandable ignorance about what is healthy (because marketing lies are sold so well). Would you be willing to offer support in the fight for everyone to be nourished with real-life-sustaining food and offer encouragement to your fans to experience the exhilaration of movement and endorphins? Wanna work together towards everyone having equal and fair access to health? Let’s all be light on our feet and live long into the future!

The underlying principle of empathy is that every action, thought, and word spoken by everyone is done in an attempt to experience something, so they all have a purpose. That something is our human needs or values that are essential to us all, they are what make life worth living. Our shared human values include those abstract nouns like love, harmony, health, expression, autonomy, etc., there are many! I really appreciate autonomy, because sometimes I do not know what people are trying to experience with what they are doing or saying. However I know that I value my autonomy, and my right to make my own choices and the most effective way for me to have my autonomy respected is to respect another’s autonomy. Feel free to read “Empathy, Love in Action” to explore more.

I say this because sometimes I am quite clueless about what your motives are, I don’t want to assume, although I admit I certainly have. For instance, if you value health and value your fan’s health, why would you be the spokesperson for a company that sells a product that does not contribute to health? I feel incredibly worried and at times very angry because your fans trust you and some are even young and impressionable and already have increased risks to their health like diabetes and obesity. Although I have never been in the position of being offered millions of dollars to sell anything, I don’t understand making that kind of choice. This is a time when I try both successfully and unsuccessfully to remember that we all desire autonomy. It doesn’t mean I agree with your actions or would want to encourage them, but I don’t want to condemn you the person. I apologize for assuming that you do not value your fans’ health, because how could I know? My request is for you to consider the impact you have on the choices of people who have helped you to even be in the position to be offered large sums of money (multiple times more than some make in years, even lifetimes) for work that I’d guess would not be described as very challenging or labor-full.

We are living through a humanitarian and health crisis; we are fighting to be treated like humans, there are more slaves right now than in the 1800s while trying to protect our health in a market full of poisonous products. Would you agree that corporations are heavily constructing the way the world is rolling right now? When we support companies that do not pay living wages, hire slave labor, use deceptive marketing, and put dangerous chemicals into their products, I believe we are essentially in cahoots with them in creating a world lacking in humanity, respect, health, and equality. When you endorse those companies, you are not only supporting that company and how they do business but also heavily influencing others to do the same. I so wish we lived in a world where more businesses were centered on their service to humanity, which would naturally lead to plenty, rather than taking any means necessary to make more money, but we don’t. Any help you would be willing to give to utilize your influence in a way that encourages a healthier, happier, and more harmonious world would be incredibly appreciated and beneficial to potentially billions of people.

Those are enticing opportunities! I sure as hell have no clue what being offered a chance to make “easy” money, investing in a company outside of the industry you already achieved a high level of success and financial security well beyond adequate, would be like to consider. In a world that encourages just about any decision that makes you more money, I can see how confused and torn you may feel and how challenging it would be to go against the grain. And when the group consciousness surrounding you is filled with designer clothes, expensive toys, and people paid to determine if you wear one of those fashions more than once, those options likely look more appealing. Having another income stream probably helps support the lifestyle of those around you and what people expect of you. Or maybe you enjoy being able to support charities and contribute to social causes and you figure you’ll be able to do more positive things with that extra cash.

My request of you is to consider that those of us in those industries that you have an unfair advantage investing and participating in are hustling our butts off just to succeed in that one field. And in most cases, we earn fractions of fractions less than you made in your original field, where again it certainly appears you have already made it. I do not believe it is fair to restrict anyone to one particular field, that’s like clipping a bird’s wings or taking away an artist’s imagination, however consideration of the inequality of the leverage those in the entertainment industry have in practically every other market would be hugely appreciated. I honestly believe there are unlimited options for you to express, create, and be involved in areas outside entertainment, that would still leave opportunities for others…you’re so creative…would you be willing to use your imagination? Or as an alternative, you could prioritize the World’s salvation over personal ambition and apply all that creativity to picking a problem to help solve instead of a product to produce. All the problem-plagued people and the resource-depleted planet will thank you!

Do you feel uncomfortable with how much you can make for several months working on a movie, or going on tour that could be equivalent to multitudes of peoples’ lifetime earnings? Do you feel stressed and overwhelmed deciding how to manage that much? Would you like to be considered for how much practice and preparation you pour into your part or position; the long hours, the time away from family, and the pressure to perform and be profitable? Do you often feel exhausted giving your all for the sake of your art? Sincerely I do hope you are investing your resources into your own self-care.

Because of your contributions, we are never short of finding an entertaining escape, a drama full of human connection, a good belly laugh, an exciting game, and countless songs to match any emotion. We even have countless songs that light our fires and fuel revolutions. There is just too much to even mention with all of our options! Sometimes I forget how much entertainment helps us to be connected because I focus on how imbalanced we are reciprocated for our contributions. And unfortunately, that inequality disconnects us. From my own experience, I can say it is not super easy to empathize with someone who wears an outfit that costs more than I have to live on for 6 months. I work hard to make a meaningful contribution too!

Are you scared of the fashion police? I am so sorry, I can’t even imagine what it’s like to possibly be dissected from head to toe anytime you leave the house. And damn I’d think you’d get a fairer trial with our flawed judicial system?!?! Between their published pokes and the ones from the public on social media, ouch!?!? Does your heart feel like a mutilated dart board? I really do think there are those who think you are a robotic celebra-droid without emotions and their words will bounce off your metallic armor. I hope you can receive my intention in expressing my commitment to helping all the non-famous people realize that you, like them, feel hurt and scared.

First I think we need to explore…why do we lash out at you?

I am not asking this to find a party to blame but to try and decode the mystery of this phenomenon, so we can apply that knowledge to a wise plan to promote mutual respect. I have mentioned how flawless and perfect you appear to us, how many multiple times more you make than most of us, and that you also have the opportunity to possibly be honored with awards every year for doing your job. Most of us are not acknowledged with celebratory ceremonies, even for very meaningful and needed contributions to society. You can also decide to throw your heart, hands, and resources into a social cause and get praise or an award for that too. There are lots of unsung heroes who do the same without anywhere near that kind of appreciation for what is usually a sacrifice made to have extra resources of time, energy, and money to show up and serve after a 9-5 where you likely do not get paid what you are worth. Regardless if their personal ambition ever manifested even enough money needed to sustain their life, they still took action. That is not to assume that you didn’t care or have never done philanthropic work before fame and fortune. I am asking you to consider why loving people can become so bitter. And to try to not take it personally, their words are just automatic defenders of their reality and our human brain’s nature to vent when we feel deeply hurt by the unfairness of life. Automatically responding with rage at injustice is very common in the human brain’s nervous systems and it’s our soul’s way to tell us, “this is not right/cool/fair/acceptable and hey, let’s do something about it!!

Would you be willing to try and imagine making sacrifices only desiring some sincere acknowledgment and appreciation for your contribution while witnessing people get so much praise, who may have only just recently heard of the cause they’ve been passionate about most of their life? How might you feel in their shoes?

What else is important to consider, in the age of materialism, or what I would describe as substituting a need for love with a craving for material objects, you guys got all the hottest and most desired stuff. Regardless of whether your intention is to show it off or not, there are billions of people jealous of you. And because we have this distorted belief that stuff, looking “hot,” and having wealth can actually make you happy, well then if we lash out at you it won’t really affect your happiness, because you have so much more than us to keep you happy. And maybe consider that the ‘more money, more problems’ theory is not helped by “showing off” to a world full of underpaid minions manipulated to be obsessed with stuff and how much more you have than them. When hypnotized our whole lives being told our desirability and possessions dictate our value, it can feel like a dagger to the heart to see: how much more you got, causing the default mode network in our brain to go on autopilot defense when we perceive that message as, “you are better than me’ or “I must not be worthy.” So again try to not take it so personally, and remember we are all born into being biased, brainwashed, poisoned, and programmed, no wonder we can all be little a$$holes at times.

So to me, this looks like old-fashioned inequality and the repercussions it has on society, so sadly re-repeated throughout our His story. All this rage directed at you is masking underlying pain at how divided we have become. For us to be united we first have to really hear one another’s pain without all the blame. Consideration and sensitivity are helpful too if you want someone who feels terrified about their own security, how they’ll eat and have health care till they die, to offer a millionaire empathy. Our lives are so different it is so hard to resonate; we can help that with honesty and transparency. So please could you share what it’s like to be interrupted by a complete stranger in public with a favor to get a picture when you just wanted to enjoy an evening connecting with your family? And maybe you can listen to what it’s like to be a struggling and talented musician trying to support their family by offering their music to their local community and competing with you for attention.

Would you be willing to have compassionate, conscious conversations where trained mediators could hold everyone's values equally, pause anytime anyone needed empathy, and then we could actually have a chance at really understanding one another? Are you able to let go of how things have been so we can recreate a world where we really do hold all our needs equally? A world where we don’t look at everything in only black and white, but celebrate its glorious color and look into each other’s eyes and see love! A world where we could be united as a family?