LEADING WITH EMPATHY TOWARDS GRAMMAR “NERDS”

 Calling you a nerd doesn’t really speak to being empathetic, although I felt reassured by the evolving connotations of “nerd” which appreciate the appealing qualities of possessing knowledge and the seduction of a wicked wit. Having the ability to mentally stimulate with crafty wordplay and captivate with insightful commentary on our shared cultural experience has been a way for you to share your gift and since the world wide web, you can do so in countless ways. I am writing to you in the hopes of beginning a dialogue that allows for equal attention to all of our concerns with the English language and the universal human values those concerns are representing.

If we could attack other countries with demeaning attacks on ignorance, you could be on the front line with your linguistic intellect and a red pen. You got some badass bravado is what I am trying to convey. It’s all that creativity and curiosity fueled by your frustrations with the incorrect usage of our tool for communication would be my guess. That much rage has got to be backed up with a lot of passion, as is usually the case. Is your passion fueled by a desire to honor human language by holding yourself and others up to an ideal level of competency? Do you feel really scared and worried when you witness misspellings and disagreeable verbs? If so I’d bet it’s because you really value uniformity in language and its ability to help us understand one another, share feelings and ideas, and have a shared sense of reality around communication. Having more mutuality in our written expression could increase connection and decrease confusion, don’t you think? Thinking of it that way I have more patience for your pokes and empathy for your feelings and values. I am wondering, however, are there times when you do understand the intention of my expression and yet choose to not respect me, or give my opinion much weight because I have not demonstrated English perfection?

Do you feel a sense of specialness because of how well your brain seems to remember English’s rules and regulations? When you correct someone’s comment on Facebook, do you feel like you are providing an important service as a post-school grammar guide, or is it something else? I don’t want to assume, so I’ll take a stab at a possibility based on what I was told about why people make fun of others when I was in elementary school, you want to feel like a ‘smarty pants’ and them to feel like a ‘dumbass?’

This is what I believe, in some way we are all smarty pants and dumbasses, or rather we all have gifts and challenges. The sciency support I have for this theory is from the work of Dr. Howard Gardner and his idea of multiple intelligences. He believes we have at least 8 different intelligences: mathematical/logical, linguistic, spatial/visual, kinesthetic, musical, interpersonal, intrapersonal, and naturalistic.

“While most people possess the full spectrum of intelligences, each reveals distinctive cognitive features. We possess varying amounts of the eight intelligences and combine and use them in highly personal ways. Restricting educational programs to a preponderance of linguistic and mathematical intelligences minimizes the importance of other forms of knowing. Thus many students who fail to demonstrate the traditional academic intelligences are held in low esteem and their strengths may remain unrealized and lost to both the school and society at large. “

Taking the above into consideration, would you like a pilot, mechanic, computer programmer, doctor, dancer, or musician to correct you in public when you don’t display the same level of competence within the intelligences where they succeed? Can you imagine if your mechanic laughed at you because you couldn’t tell that it was the radiator making that weird noise? To her, it was so obvious!

“Gardner’s research revealed a wider family of human intelligences than previously believed and offered a refreshingly pragmatic definition of intelligence. Instead of viewing “smartness” in terms of a score on a standardized test, Gardner defines intelligence as: The ability to solve problems that one encounters in real life, the ability to generate new problems to solve, and the ability to make something or offer a service that is valued within one’s culture.” I love this so much, and to me means, we are all brilliant with bad-ass brains able to overcome challenges and create!

May I request some consideration? Are you aware of how much inequality exists within our education system? Do you think that likely contributes to fewer people becoming capable of communicating completely correctly? Would you agree that life is already uniquely challenging for those who did not have an educationally supportive start in life?

I actually attended decent schools where I struggled with achieving the “perfect paragraph”. If I could not write a perfectly grammatical paragraph then the next week I was required to write an additional one and I think at one point I was up to 7 paragraphs. And it did not matter one iota what I wrote about. I personally found that exercise disproportionately focused on the perfection of language in relation to the intention of my expression. And I think the ultimate motivation for language is to contribute to understanding between people, which is why we have an agreed-upon language to ensure comprehension and avoid miscommunication.

So what I am hoping is that we can mutually find a way to meet our collective needs for comprehension and expression, and let go of an obsession with perfection. I am aware there are those who use their autonomous audacity to alter words and create new ones and I believe that is their choice. Others choose to use abbreviations or type quick responses without proofreading.  My request would be that they take into consideration that fewer people will be able to understand their comments and either accept that or phrase themselves differently. I honestly believe that without any compromise we can hold all of our values equally and discover fresh new strategies if we are willing to converse with respectful English decorum. Interested?